Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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