Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Did I show you my penis last night?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
