i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
