careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
