i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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