Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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