I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
porn star boner night. come get it.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
