Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I wish I could teleport
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The adults are the big ones right?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
