I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
