Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
