I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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