marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You need Xanax blowdarts
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
