it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize