My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
