this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
