i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Randomize
