"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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