porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize