your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
