1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize