So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
