sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
