My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
