Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
