some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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