lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
