I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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