At least make sure they are 18
Why
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
