Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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