what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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