Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize