so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Two words: blizzard sex
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize