After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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