Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize