how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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