they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
