walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
