i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
