I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
