just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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