u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Of course I have a pirate flag
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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