i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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