I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
