guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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