I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
