maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
