PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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