I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
