yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
