Whod you bang
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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