Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
