i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
