Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
