it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's blow job season.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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