Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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