i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
