Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
