Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize