Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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