Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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