I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
