I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
