Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I lost the right to judge tonight
I think people are normalizing furries
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
