if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
honey bunches of taint.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
