who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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