So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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