this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize