I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I think im going to throw up on grandma
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
