im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Let's get the cat blown out
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
